I Can

Just a moment ago the thought crossed my mind... I can eat fire, and I smiled.

In my community eating fire is normal and probably the easiest thing to do or maybe it's not, maybe I just took to it, I never really gave it too much thought as I just consider it progression. True enough it is dangerous, anytime you're playing with fire it's dangerous. I can quote all sorts of reasons why it's dangerous and give you extreme examples of what happens when things go wrong but... I suppose it's that rush of adreline you get when you're bringing a flame towards your lips, the look of approval and understanding from those who do, amazement and wonder from those who don't. Self realization and/or a satisfaction of sorts.... zen.

Not quite exactly why I love it but I know that from the first moment I let the flame dance on my tounge, my lips, my skin...I was hooked.

I can eat fire.

What a amusing yet profound statement.

Arrived at the studios at 2pm. Was a nice medium sized company, relaxed atmosphere most were pleasant but I could see that there were quite a few "geeky" types (not nerds!) with a slight power hungry feel to them. Seemed very pretentious. Such is life when you're dealing with people in the entertainment industry. I sat. I listened. I watched.

As mentioned by DM - a few folks brought their dogs to the office. A baby boxer found delight in sniffing my toes. Another dog laid his head in a doggy bed just relaxing. At first the thought was how nice to be able to bring your dog to work. Then it turned to what kind of a looser brings their dog to work? Jeez. I could understand the puppy, can't really leave those alone and even on Fridays but the other dogs all during the week? That's LA for you, people love their pets out here. Can't get enough of them. All I could think about is what if they shit on the floor.

By 2.40pm I was getting agitated. No one had let me know what was going on. Basically I was waiting around and finally told them that they were about to loose me. I had waited too long. They were worried gave me a timeline as to when the girl I was supposed to see would be ready for me. At the latest, an hour. So I left to move my car and played around on the phone with friends for a minute. Returned later just as she was finishing up a interview with a asian guy. He was nice, shorter than me, all about business (heard his conversation over the phone) but had a playful flare about him - even though he wore a suit i could see him as a frat house type with a flare for making money, very smart though didn't know what estrangement meant and asked... maybe it was small talk. Was wondering if he was someone they were interviewing for the show as well. Funny. We were complete opposites. If I were on a team with him, it would not be a very happy team. He seemed nice but no one I'd get along with. Had a slight power hungry vibe to him. By whatever means necessary.

Finally got to see her around 3.40. Found out that the room they had booked for the interview got double booked - or so was their excuse. And she was trying to get a office or a room so that we could talk. We went into some exec's room. It was one of the biggest rooms in the office. I was checking out his gear, pretty nice. Books, photos of his kids, a amp, computers, couches, etc.

I took a seat on a stool and made myself comfortable as she pointed a camera at me and asked me a great many questions. It was my life. My childhood, my parents, my relationships... what I've done and what I'm doing. my accomplishments and failures. Felt very at ease talking to her. She said I looked good on camera. Well of course I do. Said I seemed very earthy and spiritual (me? spiritual?!!!) asked me if there was any other thing else that i wanted them to know. asked if there was another me that I was hiding (la folks there's always two sides to them). I told her... what you see if what you get pretty much.

And that was that.

Not sure what the show is really about nor when they're shooting or where... there was a hint that it would be Fiji but "Ireland" told me there was a coupe yesterday so I'm thinking... probably not there...wouldn't it be nice if it were Tahiti instead? Said she'd contact me in a few weeks. It might have been a casting for Survivor.

Had a decent feeling about things. My chances and what not. I think they're just trying to cast this and they'll just go with it. Will run with it at a quick pace. A whirlwind.

Rehearsal for the New Years Eve show on Saturday then again on Monday. Vaudeville theme. Should be fun....

Dvd and I arrived in Venice, Italy with pretty much no direction as to what we were going to do or where we were going. I'd not been there for over ten years and when I was I did not make use of the water buses but this time around we strictly relied on them as the Island I chose to rent on was Lido - across from Venice. A sleepy beautiful little city away from all the hubbub of Venice where the tourist outnumber the residents.

Our hotel was on the water's edge at the end of the town. A trellis covered the walk way filled with grapes. We were planning on swiping some but they were too high at that time. Thankfully in the morning at the complimentary breakfast, they used the grapes for juice and it proved to be incredibly delicious. Loved that hotel, was more like a bed and breakfast than anything else and the front desk staff was extremely pleasant and very helpful. We defn plan on returning to that hotel when we return to Venice.

Next stop... Barcelona. We flew in on Ryan air and stayed at a hostel far away from the main strip. Nice hostel actually but just far. When the train closes at midnight it kind of puts a damper on things like... going clubbing and partying.

Dvd shopped. And later we went on a bike tour of the city. It seems to be our thing whenever we travel now. Met some great people including some cat from San Francisco. Yet another connection up there. A. He's at least 6'7" very very tall. Nice guy. We traded myspace emails so will keep up.

Got followed a bit in Barcelona by a would be purse snatcher. He followed us as we walked past him. Funny thing though. I had no cash on me. He would have gotten a bag full of tattered items - gloves, scarf, notebook... I was carrying my backpack. Secondly I'm not sure he would have gotten it off my arm. I always put my hands in my pockets when around certain elements just in case. Makes it more difficult for them to do a snatch and run. Thirdly, both Dvd was ready for him. He's unassuming but underneath his clothing is a very solid man with massive muscles.

I told Dvd I never had any problems with people in Europe except in Barcelona. One of the biggest worst crime areas/cities in Europe though the past year they've cleaned it up a lot it still has elements.

Lastly we went to Paris. Fog. Flight flew around for about an hour then into a different airport. We had to take a shuttle bus to our own airport 2.5 hours away and then another bus into the city's center. Not fun. Not bad as we got much needed rest (we had went to the bus station that takes us to the airport at 11pm and the bus didn't leave until 350am. he didn't want to pay for a taxi so we spent much of the night outside with other b/c they closed the bus station - fucking cold) but still killed some time in Paris. We only spent two days there.

Discovered a new group I now love by the name of Il Divo Italian boys. Kind of Operatic? Amazing.

On the way to the airport our tickets no longer worked so... we hopped over a turn style and ran u p to the terminal. Was thankful we didn't get caught for that one but in my whole years of travel on the metro in Europe I've never seen the guys come around and check for tickets so... oh well.

Overall it was a good trip. Dvd drove me crazy on some occasions as I'm sure I drove him crazy but you know it was good. It always is with him. Coming back into the US however has proven to be... not of the good. I'm in the same place I was before I left so I know that it's time. Simple as that. It's just time.

I got scouted by a reality tv show agent. They deal with some pretty big shows and I'm going in for a interview sometime this week. Getting on it means a month in Fiji all expenses paid.

Halloween Show

The Halloween show at the Padium went great, no fire this time around instead we used glow and black light reflective items which I heard later from someone that it looked phenominal from the audience point of view. Ive a good life. No complaints.

Tonight I met the people I will be camping with on the playa. Awesome group of people. I can't wait. we met over at this one guy's loft, at the brewery towards east la. Incredible! reminded me of old school chicago lofts. big like that. Anyways our theme is going to be a scavenger hunt of sorts. I can't even explain it. I'll take photos and try to lay out a photo story. All i know is everyone has decorated their bikes in fur and I still need to create a couple of my outfits!

I'll leave monday morning and get there towards the evening. Should be a straight drive. I'll be tired but it'll be so worth it. No technology. No normal. No communication for a week. And i'll get to burn. That's the best of all.

3 days til Burning Man.

H. said that I have "such a wonderful energy about me" which was just left me in awe coming from someone as incredible as she and her siblings are. Meeting this family, this group of people, has been such a great release for me. It reminds me of my time when I was doing the Ren Faires....admittedly the best time in my life. I missed it and had thought to go back to do them, but this is much better I think for me at the moment. Same feeling, same vibe, same people even for the most part but so much more.

Tuesday we are getting together to learn how to eat fire. I'll try to have someone take a few photos as it should be quite the sight.

In the future I have planned on taking staff and picking up some more intermediate poi - there are some moves I just didn't have time to practice. There's also a hoop class I'll be picking up and in October a sword dancer will take in some students.

I never did really explain Saturday night, I will...but just so exhausted and the cold I have still lingers but I will give a brief look into what went on and how incredible and absolutely amazing it was.

So...this is my path for the moment. It's not really far from the path I was trying to do a few years previous. I think I just got lost somewhere along the way. Finding myself again and it's nice.

Namaste.

The performance was more than I had ever imagined it be. I'm floored and extremely happy and greatful. It was just incredible.

When the explosions happened in Santa Monica, no one wanted to move. Everyone paused and looked around at one another unsure what it was and where it came from.

My best friend was upset, I was calm, I guess she was thinking it was terrorism. I insisted that no one's going to attack an area where no one is - if there was a bomb it would have been in the middle of third street, not around the corner next to a deserted theater.

Oddly enough...it was the same street where that old guy ran down those people and killed quite a few I believe 10, at the farmer's market crash a few years back. The same block.

"A power outage and two explosions that blew manhole covers into the air Saturday was caused by an electrical fire near the Third Street Promenade, apparently sparked by hot weather.

The power outage and first explosion, which sent flames 15 feet into the air from under the 200 block of Santa Monica Boulevard at about 5:40 p.m., Santa Monica Fire Capt. Scott Ziegert said.

Firefighters and paramedics rescuing people stuck in elevators heard a second explosion in the same block, he said.

Manhole covers flew into the air, followed by 15-foot-high flames. The fires started in underground circuit vaults, the work areas for Southern California Edison crews, Ziegert said.

The fires were probably heat-related, resulting from system overloads as area businesses and residents turned up their air conditioners.

No injuries or damage to property, aside from the vaults, were reported.

Power is not expected to be restored for about 24 hours, Ziegert said."

A week and a half from now I'll be performing at Paramount at their Streets of New York party with the people who first taught me the craft. I'm looking for a proper "Burlesque" costume to wear.

Saw someone die today. Well I didn't "see" him, as the lifeguard truck drove past us I turned the other way. No need to see the tragedy first hand. Especially not with his family standing less than ten feet away.

They had come to the beach for fun and relaxation. A family of about four or five. 3-5 year old girl, her mother, her husband, his "brother" I am assuming, and another one or two more. Ended with the husband dying.

He apparently got caught in the undertow. The wife was screaming for the lifeguard to help him, but they didn't...or wouldn't. A surfer actually went out and brought him back in and by then the lifeguard had jumped into action calling 911 and going to the beach to help perform cpr. The guy was swimming right in front of the tower apparently. Young guy, perhaps in his late 20s or early 30s.

Was under for about 30 seconds.

Not sure if he panicked but I figured he must have. Lots of people can swim but to swim in the ocean is a terribly different thing and the riptide flag was up which means you have to be a very strong swimmer. He wasn't.

They performed CPR on him for about 10-15 minutes while a crowd of at least 100 if not more watched. A few had hoped they'd bring him back to life and the crowd would burst out into a bevy of applause. I mean it was the Fourth of July and it was supposed to be a day of celebration and independence but for them it'll be a day of remorse and sadness.

They walked past us, were in front of us and you could see the anguish in their eyes. I actually turned away, wanted to respect them, him. I didn't see his body but S. said he was young. She was hoping that because they didn't cover him up, it meant that he wasn't gone...but earlier, another friend of ours was standing close as they performed cpr. She said she had looked out and saw dolphins in the water as they pumped him then they went under. She looked away for a second and from the corner of her eye she saw a flash of light go up, she turned to look towards it but there was nothing there. She said that that's when she knew he was gone. His soul had left his body.

Sad...

Burn Baby Burn

Last night after a beautiful ceremony, beginning with yoga on the beach as the sun went down, I lit my poi for the very first time after eight weeks (fourteen classes) of learning basic tricks and skills... I guess I'm a fire dancer now.

I decided to do the circus thing again. Fire Dancing using poi. I'll probably take staff next round. I am... having a blast. Who knew?

Couldn't stop smiling as I kept hitting myself with the poi. Pure enjoyment. Give me time.

It was in a new decent size studio - that had some Ariel Hoops, a few trapezes and fabric rigs. I might take fabric when I get a little more flexible. Think Cirque Du Soleil if you don't know what i mean. Great big space, I like it a lot better than other spaces I've been in. Smiling now. Feels good.

So.... today of all days, I was coming out of the bookstore down the block from where I work headed back from lunch...and who do I see approaching me? Yep you guessed it - my ex. The fates have a wicked sense of humor don't they?

Thank god I looked nice today (which is usually the norm anyways cause I'm all about the heels now). Hair in ponytails, stripped tight shirt, blue jeans and a skip in my step. I was having a pretty good day.

So we spoke for a few minutes, hugged, caught up on each other's lives. It seems to me like I've been going through all the changes and upgrading while he's still doing the same old thing. Tour this - audition that, still living with the crazy bipolar controlling cat lady, blah blah blah. Nothing wrong with being a musician/artist I might add, I encourage those who do so/are, but when it gets in the way of your humanity and how you treat people and when you can't keep your ego in check - then there's an issue in my book. Now, I won't lie to you and say it wasn't nice to see him...because it was nice, very nice. But I wasn't expecting it, nor really wanting it, I've been in a nice place lately and seeing him could have pushed me out of it. It hasn't but it could have. I had figured though that eventually we would pass each other in a club or something and give each other a glance or a nod but that's about it, I really hadn't given it much though. But alas, I felt comfortable, heart was beating slightly but that's to be expected.

So how's that for a Valentine's Day doozie? Pretty crazy. We got some mad crazy kismet going on huh?

On another note...I've a package from UPS but they didn't leave it. My Valentine's Day present from a admirer. Debating on if I should have them leave it tomorrow - the apt.'s pretty safe, no one bothers anyone else's stuff-OR should I just pick it up? I wonder what I got. I am curious and excited.

Last night, I joined a few friends at this renovated Hollywood Hotel I believe it was The Renaissance and went to a wine tasting event. We were VIP so we got in early and enjoyed quite a few wines before the others poured in. And after about 20ish zips and a couple of full glasses I was feeling mighty good. It was a great evening. Planning on doing it more. So far Peju is my favorite (www.peju.com) I think I'm a fan of the wines that have a more fruity taste rather than a "bitter" one.

Man...I'm feeling exceptionally good. What a great start to a great brand new year.

The Fuzzball Star

Hung out with famous football legend who was on famous celebrity tv dancing show last night on my birthday. As such is the case with me nine times out of ten, I had no clue and kept asking him what his name was even in the mist of people surrounding him and wanting photographs. He was amused by it, told me he was on the dancing tv show, to which I responded "Never seen it." One of few I suppose. The fact that he was a multi-winner of many Superbowl didn't ring a bell in me either (I don't watch sports). In all my naivety I did notice that he wore a huge sports ring (apparently it was a superbowl ring) but without my friend pointing it out to me and who he was, I wouldn't have been the wiser.

It was interesting. We were at a majority white music show and being the only black (of three including my friend and myself) I guess he felt comfortable? Perhaps it's because we're hot. He was watching us all night (not in a predatory way his glance had more of a curious or a can we be friends nature) and eventually approached us while we were up in the VIP room... Again, perks. And it doesn't help if you know how to work it which I do, in LA. Invited us later to go to another place, a VIP / Celeb hang out above the streets of the Sunset Strip but my friend declined so we invited him to hang with us the following night if he was free (me being me told him I could get him in free... once again not realizing until much later that his fame was of the legendary kind. He said he didn't think he'd have a problem getting in. lol). He dropped me his number, and I gave him mine and tomorrow we're all going to see some more music.

Sidenote: Fame means shit to me however I still do from time to time get a kick out of running into and/or hanging out with certain people (this being Hollywood I've crossed a lot of paths). But the most important thing to me when dealing with these people is if they have good vibe and IF they can bring something to the plate. I will not deal with someone who is awful on the inside. I am more interested in a person's substance rather than what possessions they have.