Once again i am housesitting in venice very close to the beach. it's nice. i drove up the coast today on my way home instead of hitting the freeway - went behind the airport rather than in front of it. the water was fierce. skyline relatively clear. could see all the way to malibu and beyond. if it weren't cool, well by the time i get back to the city the sun is almost down, i would go and hang out for a few minutes on the sand. maybe tomorrow i'll sit and watch the sun disappear behind the ocean.

"I haven't smiled all week..." beamed my companion as he looked at me through eyes of great affection and perhaps love? His smile was so grand, so brilliant, so full of delight and joy.

and yet, after six months i'm still hesitant to move forward, even though i feel like things have turned a great deal in my favor..but still. casual dating with no labels is the last note we left on but after all the time we've been spending together it just feels different. it is different.

Went to a coffee shop last night and talked, got some dinner, then finally to get a movie, Arsenic and Old Lace a Cary Grant flick! My favorite. My companion managed to accidently pull a rack of movies off a stand and as they hit the floor I couldn't help but laugh. Funny... I laugh a lot nowadays. Loudly and often.

Last night I was taken to see Bugs Bunny on Broadway at the Hollywood Bowl. I've never been to there before even though I've lived here for quite some time.

It was nice, we took a picnic basket and made the trek to the Bowl from the side street where we parked.

The place is huge, they said about 18,000 people could fit in there. It looked like about 5000 people, but I'm sure it was at least around 16000 or so.

It was very romantic. We ate on the benches, had wine and cheese and crackers, cold pizza, cookies, etc. My companion teased me about the huge grin that was plastered on my face. I couldn't help it, I was incredibly in awe. I mean this place was amazing as was the person I was with.

calmness surrounds me now.
anxiety gone replaced with anticipation.
touching the softness of silk replaced by skin.
my mind wanders....

if even for only a moment thoughts of what is, what could be and what may come are thrilling though slightly dangerous.
it doesn't matter.
learning to release and let go are part of the fun and what makes us human - it essentially makes us "become".
my mind wanders....

i think i'm in love.

Learning Sitar

There is a school here, that teaches Middle Eastern, Indian, Far East, African music (and the like) and dance. I just found it so and have decided that it is my mission to learn how to play the Sitar and study Indian rhythms and dance..

In Southern California today, a car plowed into the farmer's market on the third street promanade in Santa Monica - a place I frequently go to. About 8 people have died, included a 3 year old baby, the count may go up. The driver, was an 80 year old man who apparently just plowed through the large gathering - there are hundred upon hundreds of people there, it's always packed and being that it's nice...some people said they just heard something coming and people screaming and people moving out of the way quickly and/or getting hit by the car. I usually shop at that market every week. Wasn't around this time as Id things to do.

Intense.

Runyon Canyon

I've been walking up and down there since 1998/99. Suddenly it has turned into such the little place to be in LA. Its a place where people walk their dogs and hike for exercise or go to see the scenery. On a clear day you can see out to the ocean or the hills of Hollwood. Once it was kind of "hidden" and now it's the "it" place. I blame the sudden population boom on people who have probably heard about all the celebs that frequent it so they want to come and see a star or two. I've seen my share and spoken to many, everyone always says hello when walking. I think this is why I like walking Runyon. The friendly interactions. Hello. Good Morning. Good Afternoon. So very unlike LA.

-- LOTUS FLOWER BLOOMS, that's what they are. the other day i drove past echo park lake and all these people were taking professional photos of this little small area with flowers and i guess huge Lilly pads? not quite sure if you call them that. well today I went back with my little 1969 Polaroid that L. gifted me and took some incredible photos. met some Japanese photographers and we got to talking. it was rather funny. here they are with their $$$$ cameras and equipment and there i was with my little old classic camera. they seemed to think it was a great little retro camera as a few came over and spoke with me wanting to touch and play with it while others kind of looked on. i need a filter, the colors aren't as vibrant as they could be but, they came out nice.

--- AH the Lotus Flower Festival. That place is apparently one of the largest lotus flower field in the United States. It was pretty amazing. Well at least I thought so.

I just got an offer to go to Tahiti with a friend. To accompany him as his guest as a repayment for finding him a round-trip ticket for less than three hundred. Everyone usually comes to me as Im good at finding deals when it comes to travel. He used to play in a popular band back in the day whose name is the name of a candy (But hasnt everyone in LA?). Lived in New York, had a huge home, married a model, lost everything in the divorce.

TAHITI!!! Such temptation. I do like the tropical climates though...

L., who is my ex fiance, is leaving first thing tomorrow for russia. Wow. He's actually leaving. today going to drop off his car at the dealership. I guess he wants to spend a few hours with me as well being that I'm his "best friend in america" told him you've not treated me very well being that i'm your best friend and all. He said "he knows". Then reached over and gave me a long hug. I really hope this venture is one that will help him find himself. It's horrible when you've lost yourself, believe me I know, and for him it's even worst I think than normal. I just hope this works for him, I'd hate him to go back and have things be worst.

So yep. This is it. Tomorrow he leaves. I'm a little sad, our relationship/friendship has been a wild ride indeed but I think this is the best thing for him so i'm a little excited as well.

Bye bye L.

Hallelujah.

Belly Dancer

when i'm a little better i'd like to take dance lessons from this lady http://www.pinkgypsy.com/ansuya.htm

she's so incredibly beautiful. she seems like she knows what she's doing in dance. i'll probably go and check a class out before i completely commit to it. there are a few places closer to my house, but re their photos and web site descriptions, i'm not sure how they'll be. i'll prob check them out as well, but i dunno something about this first woman that makes my heart flutter.

A Gift

A friend just bought me a bass. A beautiful black and white bass. It's a replica of a Music Man. I couldn't believe it. He just dropped it off and said "Just because."

I just spent the last two hours talking to a old ex friend - we had a tiff in Europe 10 years ago and that was it she went her way I went my way.

Well, Dreads had mentioned she worked at the same record store (at one point we all worked there) and I happened to be in the mall visiting other friends so decided to stop by.

The meeting...was amusing. When we saw each other we both broke down and hugged and grinned like little kids. We've reconciled and I'm ecstatic about it. My face is just locked in a permanent grin.

Oddly, she lives about 3 houses from me. just separated by a hill. I'm at the and if one goes down the walkway, her building is right there. She's been there for almost a year. I've been in my place for almost six months. We're going to hook up soon and catch up on our lives. She said she had often thought about me and vice versa and even said she thought about me about a month ago when Dreads walked into her shop. Said that she remembered I'd a crush on him, so it's been about 10 years since I've seen her as well. She's blossomed into a beautiful young adult.

The Sea

Watched dolphins from the shore tonight while at the bonfire. Dolphins always signify a good change in my life.

Towards the end of the night, a group of rowdy kids were thrown off the beach for drinking beer (where its not allowed) and made it their duty to tell the authorities that we were doing the same.

X could not understand this and made it a point to tell them
"i'm german ve drink beer like vater."

Gotta love the Germans.

I found the most incredible little area today. It was raining this morning, which made the area serene yet eerie in a interesting way.

It's this little 4-6 block radius of huge classic Victorian homes. I mean old Victorian homes all fixed up and painted brightly with blues, purples, reds, yellows, grays. It was remarkable. My mouth dropped. I'm 100% sure hardly anyone knows about this area as I came across it quite by accident. So I'm going to get my camera fixed and take pictures of all the houses, do a little research to see if I can find them on the web. Incredible.

Dreads

I met a man today. Well Id met him ten years ago when we were kids but I "remet" him again today.

Beautiful man, mixed (black and white heritage), blonde dreadlocks, blue eyes, tall.

Id been having an awful day and decided that I needed to be outside rather than in and through a series of mishaps I ended up driving down the street at the same time he was walking down it and I thought him to be someone I should pull over for. So I did, approached him, nerves were intense, and introduced myself while handing him my number. He looked at me, cocked his head to the side and said my name and that we used to work with each other when we were kids, ten years prior and even had went on two dates with one another.

It slowly came back to me, after my heart calmed, and we spoke for a moment.

Hung out at the museum tonight. Saw the Ansel Adams and another exhibit. Listened to some jazz. Walked around the other part of the museum for the remaining time. Everyone was outside listening to the band so the museum was empty save a few people. It was a nice having the museum to myself. Will make it a point to come here more often during this time.

I watching a show based on slave narratives read by Samuel L Jackson tonight.

It was on HBO - "Unchained Memories Readings from Slave Narratives"

Readings by Angela Bassett, Don Cheadle, Robert Gullame, Alfre Woddard, my man Samuel and a lot of other black actors.

Very interesting.

Today I was walking down the beach away from the pier, sat down and people watched for an hour. On my way back decided to cut up the side street that runs parallel to the beach and noticed this coach bus backing up a little too quickly and suddenly he hits this fire hydrant. it goes straight up lands on the ground and a water spout as tall as about a 4-5 story building starts to spew forth. Its right on the corner, and there's this condo/apt building there with balconies...all getting extremely soaked. It was crazy. So anyways the guy puts the bus into gear and takes off quickly.

So i called the cops on him.

Not that I normally would call the police/fire department but it was pretty bad - they needed to shut off the water immediately.

Later on I met Dvd for lunch he mentions walking past this broken fire hydrant and told him I saw the whole thing happen and I'm the one who called the cops on him! He said that the firemen looked pissed off.

Thing is...I was walking on that side of the street - the street was as big as a one lane street - or maybe a small 2 lane. I went to the other side of the street b/c he was backing up. I was in mid cross just as he hit the hydrant. I didn't feel like I was in any danger, but thinking about what I wrote yesterday...imagine if I had been there just a few moments before.....

Crazy day.